May. 22nd, 2013

karmaschild: (Default)
I feel like I've been on the go, non-stop, for a while now. I haven't, but it feels that way.

May 9th was my birthday and the following day was the graduation ceremony for the Metro Community college class of 2013. Technically, I'm not a graduate yet. I have two more classes to complete in the summer quarter to be totally finished, but since I was so close, they went ahead and let me walk anyway. I graduated with honors, which made me pretty proud.

I've also been attending therapy sessions once a week for the last couple months. My therapist's name is Naoko and is originally from Japan. She has a bit of an accent, so sometimes we confuse each other, but she's pretty nice. It feels weird to be pouring out all my problems to someone my own age, though. I feel like therapists should be older than me. :P

Today, I had an appointment with her and brought cookies in for the staff... only to find out they're all doing an office version of The Biggest Loser, so that may not have been the best plan. Oh well. I tried.

The psychiatrist I see in conjunction with my therapist is named Terri and she's been working on getting me properly medicated. I remember this being more difficult the last time around, but it's been 10+ years since I was last on medication for depression and it's also a different diagnoses from the last time, so I guess that explains why it all feels so different. They've both decided the diagnosis is Bipolar Disorder Type 2, which is the less manic of the two types. I've been struggling with that since, somewhere along the way, I got it in my head that Bipolar Disorder was "the bad one" and as long as I was anything but, I'd be okay. Now I'm kind of having to deal with one of my own worst fears which is, admittedly, not at all based in reality. I think, honestly, the mental image I have of Bipolar Disorder is what bad media shows it to be. Which is about as accurate as the Weather Channel, I know. It's just something I have to work out in my head.

I feel better, though. I really do. I don't want to jinx myself and look too closely at it, but I can tell a significant difference in how I feel since I started all this. I feel calmer, milder, and slightly more energetic. More hopeful. I honestly don't think I've ever felt this good before, in my adult life, so I'm definitely pleased with my progress. I'm just still worried that it's all just temporary and will eventually crash back down again. My pessimistic side at work.

In addition to therapy, I've also joined the local Kroc Center. It's a little expensive, but I think I can manage it and getting into shape is something I've wanted so bad for so long. Now that I'm feeling better in general, I think it's time to work on it. Strike while I have the motivation and all. So, this past Monday, I joined and did my first workout. The trainer on duty took my height, weight, measurements, and tested my endurance and flexibility. Then she showed me around the fitness area and how to work all the machines. We set up a beginners program for me on the strength training machines and I also add in about 30 minutes on the treadmill, as well as a pile of ab crunches. I went back again today and worked out again. I am really sore, but I feel good about it.

Downtown, when I go to my therapy appointment, I pass by a used book store that I've meant to check out for weeks, but it took me a while to get up the nerve to do it. So, last week, I finally did. It's amazing how many books, DVDs, and CDs he's got shoved in there. I could spend days looking through stuff. He's also got a store dog named Joy. She's an Australian Shepherd who is, apparently, afraid of everyone, but I am determined to win her over with treats. She wasn't there today when I stopped on, though.

Outside of school and therapy, I've also joined a couple of social groups for Omaha. One is called the Omaha Culture Club. Last night, I went to my first meeting with them. We got together downtown at an Indian Restaurant (Well, it used to be a restaurant. Now, it's more like a swanky bar with a handful of Indian appetizers available. The Tandoori wings and Naan bread were amazing.). I was there for two hours with a Frenchman named Jean-Paul. Get the man started talking about wine and he goes on and on. It's kind of entertaining. He tried to tell me the best place in Omaha to get escargot; I didn't have the heart to tell him there was no way in Hell I'd ever eat snails. He's an adventurous eater, though. Apparently he's eaten horse, monkey brains, and something else I can't remember because I was too busy being horrified by the idea of eating monkey brains.

He's also good friends with the owner of the Indian place and has a drink on the menu named after him: The Frenchman. It's a brandy drink with a lot of citrus flavors. Pretty tasty, actually, and majorly strong. It probably would have been good to find out that the bathroom was down a flight of steep stairs before I had that drink and three glasses of wine. He was impressed with my drinking, though. Ha, take that, France.

Apparently, the building where the Indian Oven is currently located used to be a speakeasy. He gave me an entertaining history of its use during Prohibition. He's only been in Omaha three years, so I imagine he is the sort of person who can and will strike up a conversation with anyone, anywhere. I wish I had that ability.

Let's see... what else?

I think there was more, but my brain's full. I want to do some writing and some roleplaying tonight. It's been a long time since I sat down and RP'd very much. I've sort of fallen out of the groove or something. I don't know. I just feel weak with my voices and kind of like it's a chore to get the words out. I don't know how to fix that or if I'm just ready to move on from older fandoms or what.

Hopefully, I can figure it out.

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Mal

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